A fairly eventful weekend. First about my GD and interview...it was nothing like I expected! I was sure that I was gonna get some really obscure topic for the GD and I was doubly sure that I would be asked questions on engineering in the interview and hence be screwed. Was plesantly suprised when the GD topic announced was " India is shining only for 10% of India ". Considering I'd gone so far as to mug up the budget, I found it fairly easy to come up with points. Compared to the GD's I've had at TIME class, this one was incredibly civilised. If you persisted, everyone else would shut up. TIME GD's were terrible, no one would give a damn about what you said, it was bloody competitive.

The interview was an anti climax too. There were 3 seperate interviews and I was asked the same questions in all 3 of them. They seemed to be more interested in my family than in me. No tough questions ,they were all qute straightforward.

Aparna and I came out of LIBA wondering if the GD and interview was done with serious intent or done just for the sake of doing it. Perhaps the candidates had already been selected and the GD and interview had just been a formality. It was nothing like TIME. Personally, I think I did the GD and PI well but I'm quite sceptical about my chances. Besides, LIBA has 50% reservation for christians! That means only 30 seats for other candidates. So 300 candidates for 30 seats...I have a 1 in 10 chance of making it.

Saturday and Sunday was spent in finishing the project report. Its finally over thank God! Now the only thing left is for our project to actually work :P

Well, the LIBA interview is tommorow and the butterflies in my stomach have officially crossed the 1000 Km/second speed limit. Any second now my tummy is going to launch itself into outerspace. YEAH I'M NERVOUS!!!!!

I was pretty confident till yesterday when I had mock interview which went terribly. The interviewer asked me a dozen question from software engineering, a paper I had in the 4'th semester (which was last century according me). Its ok when you cant answer a couple of questions but after a dozen consecutive
" I dont know sir, I dont know sir, hehe sir ", your feeling of self worth sort of comes down.

Anyway, I realise I'm not going to help myself by being negative. Have to think positive, have to feel positive, gotta be confident, have to believe in myself and lots of other positive stuff. Wish me the best of luck :-)

Sometimes when I look at all thats going on in the world today, I ask myself " Shouldnt I take a keener interest in whats going on around me? Shouldnt I closely monitor politics? Shouldnt I follow the
India-Pakistan peace process? Shouldnt I have opinions on outsourcing? Shouldnt I know what happens in a stock market? Shouldnt I...." and then for some reason I end up watching porn.

I know that it is good to be well informed but personally, I find keeping up with the news incredibly boring. Not something I should be saying when I have an interview for my MBA admission at LIBA on the 26'th....

Ok so I'm a terrible blogger.

its not like I have writers blog ( joke..hyuk hyuk hyuk ). Its just that off late nothing really seems to appeal to me.Everything seems remarkably dull. Nothing different between yesterday and today. Ok, something really different between moday and tuesday, but I cant tell you what. Anyway I'm brain dead, I'm in a coma, I'm listless,I'm bored, Ennui, weary, taedium vitae, dull, apathetic, down in the doldrums blah blah blah.

Somehow I feel OLD. I feel like there's nothing to really look forward to anymore ( No, I'm not suicidal, I havent had sex as yet ). Sometimes I wish I didnt know so much. I wish I could be more emotional. I havent cried in a decade, I havent let go. I'm quiet, in control, reserved all the time. I want to throw a tantrum, I want to hurt someone's feelings and feel GOOD about it. I dont want my concience, it gets me down. I think I need to go to bed. Good night.

p.s:- in other news, I got a call from LIBA, my one and only official call so yay! Lets see how that goes.

So I'm finally sitting on my own loo in my own bathroom and I must say it feels great to be home again. The four days spent in Kerala have been well...mentally and physically taxing. I didnt eat or sleep properly and my excretory system just shut down completely. My excretory system and I have a very good agreement. Whenever I go on tour, I dont have to bother about going to the loo. I can eat what I want, drink what I want and I wont even feel the slightest urge to attend natures call. Once I get back home, everything changes dramatically and I seldom leave the loo.

Most of my time in Kerala was spent sitting in a tiny bus for hours without end. It became really uncomfortable as I sat next to Tushar and each time the bus took a sharp turn, he would fall on me.(There were a lot of sharp turns) Tushar is completely unaware of the damage caused as he was asleep most of the time.

The wildlife sanctuary was the most dissapointing as the only wildlife we saw was a chicken. It was hot dry and dusty and I was almost tempted to burn it down and build and engineering college. After hours and hours of travelling on an empty stomach and see nothing but a chicken got us all really mad and we yelled at the tour guide.

The food was mostly unavailable or foul tasting. Kerala is a terrible place for the vegetarian. On the subject of food, we also had a fight with a really rude waiter in a classy hotel. Things would have gotten worse id Mr.Gnanasekaran and the hotel manager hadnt intervened.

I think I had fun only on the last day. We climbed 5000 feet to see the Edakkel caves. It was also an unusual spot for me to recieve my ATMA exam result via SMS on Tushar's phone.

We visited another spot after that and we had no idea what was special about it. We'd been brought there to admire a heart shaped lake which had dried up.

From there we were supposed to go to Meen Mutty falls but that didnt work out as we were too hungry, tired and frustrated to travel another 50 Kilometers. A lot of them wanted to skip lunch and go there but Tushar and I didnt give a damn. We had to eat no matter what. In the end we decided to skip the Meen mutty falls and go to another one only 8 Km away. That too was kinda dried up. We were supposed to leave the falls by 6:30 PM but our bus broke down and we were stuck till 10:30.We got worried as it was a 3 hour trip to Calicut where we were supposed to catch the 1:30 AM train to Chennai. Anyway, while the bus was being repaired the guys got together and had a major truth session. We sat in a ring and each guy got about 20 minutes in the center. He would be asked really personal questions
( Eg: Why does your breath stink? When did you start masturbating? Why dont your parents trust you? etc etc) and he would have to be completely honest. His various positive and negative aspects were also pointed out. Under a moonlit starry night on top of a quiet mountain, it was really really good. I got to know the guys really well and it was rather touching to see the most despised chap in the class openly confess his problems.

The bus finally started and we raced down the mountain to get to the station on time. It was a nauseating journey as the bus wound down the mountain side and with Tushar continuously falling on me, I was ready to throw up any second. Also every one stank and it was hot and sticky.

We made it to the station on time and got into the train. I was asleep by 2 AM and didnt wake up until 9. We reached Chennai by 3:40 PM and I'm just so glad to be home.

Finally got my gift vouchers from Sulekha.com :-D, thats been the highlight of the day. Otherwise pretty rotten as I got a stupendously high telephone bill, my mom is boiling mad. Went on and on about how I misuse the internet :P. Got a cricket match with my classmates on thu.

Spent the evening carefully packing all the CAT material into a box.It took me about an hour to organise the stuff , pack it in plastic bags and place it in a box. All kinds of feelings washed over me, nostalgia, regret, relief..quite a mixed bag. I plan to let it lie in the box for a couple months and perhaps take it down again after that. I'm not really happy with the way the CAT turned out. It also seems grossly unfair that I'd spend over 1 year preparing for something that got over in merely 2 hours. I havent unwound yet I guess.

I'm yet to get my gift cheque for winning the blog contest from Sulekha.com. The editor spent a week cribbing about the work involved in procuring a cheque..and now she's on leave. I just hope I get my hands on it soon.

We might be going on tour to Coorg on the 25'th, hope it works out.

I'm online now, waiting for a certain special somebody to come online too...

Are you one of those people who can bend down and touch their toes without bending the knees? Well I'm not, and its beginning to worry me. All my friends seem to able to do it, but I cant. Looks like I really lack flexibilty.

I purchased a book called " Yoga for students " and I intend to start practicing from Monday, after the CAT.

Well, the re CAT is tommorow and I havent given it much thought. I think I've written far too many exams to feel nervous :P

Life's been banal for the last 5 months: University exams, CAT and now CAT, University exams :-(. My project is dragging too and is a constant source of worry....sigh, life seems so insipid now. Must read some new self help book :P

My sis has come down from Bangalore to attend a wedding and the first thing she said when she laid eyes on me was " YOU'VE PUT ON WEIGHT!!!!".
I took it as a compliment but apparently it wasnt meant to be one, which I dont understand. I've been teased all my life for having a physique similar to alfalfa grass

and now that I'm finally not so skinny...I'm accused of being stocky!

One of the good outcomes of the blog contest is that I learnt my friend Siddhu writes good, real good.
I never stopped to think that one of my gym pals wrote so well :P. Here's a link to all his blogs. Do check em out.

http://www.sulekha.com/weblogs/listingsbyblog.asp?pg=1&blogid=1353

Well, its been a long week...also a helluva long time since I blogged here. As explained before, I entered a blogging contest at sulekha.com and an unofficial source has told me I got second place.

I had so much to say this morning but now that I'm actually writing, my mind is blank....perhaps I should write again later...

Also, its Priety Zinta's birthday today...my biggest crush ever I think..so happy bday Priety :P

I've entered a blog contest, hence the next few blogs can be found on this link:



http://www.sulekha.com/weblogs/listingsbyblog.asp?pg=1&blogid=1330

I have to stop being the comedian. I've just realised that. We had a group discussion today and my mind teemed with a dozen witty things to say. None of them however really contributed to the discussion. I always like to say things which make everyone laugh, infact its sort of the only thing I do in a conversation. I sort of digress from the main topic because of this. My mind is more interested in twisting the words into something humorous instead of thinking deeply about the topic and coming up with sensible solutions. Must stop cracking jokes all the time.

GD however was rather well conducted. A chap who'd passed out of IIM Calcutta came and conducted it. I was a lil sceptical of his slow measured speech in the beginning, it looked rather put on. He'd walk about slowly, mostly looking at the ground as he spoke, carefully enunciating, articulating and pronouncing his words and I wasnt impressed initially. I soon forgot about it as the chap was really good. He had a good sense of humour and he knew how to hold everyone's attention. Half way through, I wistfully began to wish I was like him :P.

Next GD on thursday and I look forward to it.

Well my editor seemed to like the article. Here it is:


Yep, I'm one of them. I'm one of the one lakh twenty thousand students who get to write the CAT in both 2003 and 2004. Its the first time in the 30 year history of the CAT that something like this has happened.The paper was leaked! Its a shame allright, its sacrilege Its a blow to the prestige of the CAT!! Its a whole lot of nasty things but there's nothing we can do about it.

My own experience:
November 23'rd. 6:30 A.M: I woke up with a sort of unreal feeling enveloping me. I couldnt believe the day had actually come. November 23'rd looked so far away when I began preparing and all of a sudden, it was actually here! I went through the motions in a dazed manner. I brushed my teeth, drank my milk, had a bath, had breakfast and prayed to that holy goddess Carmen Electra of Baywatch to bless my efforts. One last round of " Maccha! I dont know anything!" phone calls and I left for my exam centre.

Call me paranoid, but I got to my centre about two hours early with not 1, not 2 but 5 sharpened pencils, 2 erasers, 2 sharpeners and even 2 watches. There were students of all types. Some looked hysterical, some looked calm and assured and some looked plain bored. A lot of them had their noses buried in fat books.My friend and I roamed the campus and carefully avoided all those bent upon discussing CAT problems.

Sometime later, I seated myself in the alotted room and nervously awaited the paper. I filled out a few forms and signed my name in the sheets a few times. The CAT paper was placed on the table, sealed on all sides. I wondered how I was going to open it without damaging it. The bell rang, I was off!

I ripped open the cover and hurriedly glanced through the paper. It was of the usual pattern, 150 questions, 3 sections of 50 questions each: Reading Comprehension and Verbal Ability, Logical and Data Interpretation and finally the Quantitiative section.

I started with the quants section and was taken aback. So many questions on Geometry and Algebra, so few on arithmetic! Looked to be quite tough! Luckily there were quite a few questions where one could substitute the answer choices in the question.I picked the easier looking questions and did what I could in 40 minutes.

Next came the DI and Logical Section. It was pleasant surprise actually. A lot of the D.I questions involved only counting of instances and not actual hardcore calculation. The logical section was quite straightforward. This section was intended to seduce the student I think as I overshot the time I set for myself. This put pressure on me for the Verbal and RC section.

The Verbal and RC section was of the usual CAT standard.. What did come as a surprise though was the presence of a poem. However once one got over the initial surprise, the questions related to it were quite easy. I was under immense pressure due to lack of time, so I went for the factual questions and avoided those which required me to understand the passage. In the Verbal, sentence jumbles were of the usual difficulty, while the fill in the blanks had some pretty close answer choices.
Another slightly different question was the " Find the sentence with the inappropriate usage of the given word". It was fairly easy though.

The bell rang! Time up! The 2 hours had just blitzed past! I couldnt believe it was over! One year preparing for the exam that got over before I knew it! I joined the crowd in the corridor. Some looked happy, some high fived, some looked dazed and some looked as though they were about to burst into tears. I belonged to the dazed category. I discussed the paper with a few friends for a while before catching a bus home. Little did I know what awaited me. My dad opened the door and looked to be in a feverish state of excitement. " CAT CANCELLED!CAT CANCELLED!" he yelled on top of his voice. I didnt belive him and he dragged me to the TV. I watched the news, unable to comprehend it all. I didnt know what to think. Was I to be annoyed or was I to be happy that I got another chance? I didnt know. The house was flooded with phone calls. I spent most of the afternoon with a phone to each year. A few of us were supposed to meet in the evening to celebrate , but now there was nothing to celebrate. We met anyway.

Now that the excitement is over, I think I'm actually glad I get another chance. The Quants section was murderous, the logical and DI was so tempting, I didnt do full justice to the Verbal and RC section. Undoubtably there were thousands of souls out there who thought the paper was rather simple and were outraged when they heard the news but there's nothing we can do about it is there? CAT 2003 is to be written in 2004 and I dont know what to expect. Dosent really make a difference if the paper is easy or tough. If its easy, everyone is going to do well and your rank wont shoot up. If its really tough, then once again even if your score goes down, your rank wont. All we have to do now is to take a deep breath and hold out for another couple of months. We are a privileged batch after all, to write a mock CAT conducted by the IIM's themselves!

Well, I'm supposed to review the CAT for a magazine. Not entirely sure how to go about it.Do I write a narrative of how I got to my centre, how I oggled at the women, how I wrote the CAT and how I oggled at the women or do I do one pukka objective analysis and pretend to be an expert on the subject? My editor has sent some scary looking bar graphs and asked me to use them :-(

K, guess I'll do it tommorow

Grandmothers are people too. I have just realised that. I have somehow spent 20 years of my life believing that the only thing that grandmothers did was to ask their grandchildren to eat curd rice. It has also occured to me that my grandmother was once young. Rather hard to digest huh? I always assumed that my grandmother was born as a grandmother, she had no past and would go on being a grandmother for all eternity. Similarly I dont see myself as a father with a wife and kids, supporting his parents. I would never age. I would go on studying, my father would go on being a physics professor, my mom would go on being a teacher and my grandmother would go on being a grandmother. When I sit at the dinner table with the entire family, it never occurs to me that one day I'll be the father looking across at his son or daughter, that my father and mother would be grandparents interested in curd rice and my grandmother might be no more. Thats one reason I dislike death. It jolts me out of my reverie and forces me to wonder if one day I'll be motionless and stiff with people crying all around me. Nah, I wont ever die. Its impossible. I will always be live and animated.

I have always believed in the infiniteness of things. When I was in school, I never stopped to think there was a world beyond 12'th standard. I was confident that I could spend eternity in school. Even after I finished my 12th, I refused to believe in anything other than school. Now that I finally realise I'm no longer in school, I'm practically out of college. Now I have to think hard about my future. Where did all the time go?

Worked out my legs after a helluva long time. Dont think I warmed up properly because my leg cramped when I was doing only my second set of squats. Did a few light exercises after that and got back home.

Went to Anna university in the evening to meet a chap named Amarnath who offered to help us in our project. Seemed like a really nice guy.

I havent written in ages and suddenly I feel the desire to write an article again. I havent found a suitable topic as yet.

AAARGH! My comp really is acting up! I cant be online for 2 minutes before my comp says " SVCHOST: The exception privileged (0*c00000096) occured in the application at location 0*00cdf863" . Its just so damn painfull! I cant cut and paste, have trouble opening files and I cant disconnect from the internet!!

I might have to run that painful firewall now :-(

and yes Divya, I am a very lucky man ;-)

Had to go to Anna University to see the Vice Chancellor. As we are having an industrial seminar on the 28th, I was supposed to approach him for a message for the magazine. When I met the chaps assistant, he took a look at the brochure, sneered and said " This is for a state level seminar. Mr.Balagurusamy will write messages only for National and International seminars.". So I said " Poda Mairu "(K, I said it to myself) and got back home.

Also met a couple of blind guys on the way. The first chap had a stick to help him while the second held his shoulders. They wanted to visit the childrens park so I helped them get there. Felt rather good about myself after that :P.

I've bought myself a black cap, dont ask me why. I just suddenly decided I needed a cap. Wore it to the gym and thought I looked like a perfect ass. I got used to it in a while though and now I love myself with it.