Saturday, March 05, 2005

My training will come to an end soon. All the instructor led courses are over. We are to start working on the projects allocated to the various groups. My group is to develop a life insurance advice system and yours truly has been made team leader.

My team members are already complaining about my fanatical methods of project management. Thats absolutely ridiculous. All I've done is promise my quality reviewer Shanmugapriya a 70% hike in her salary if things went well and promise my designer Balaji bodily harm if anything went wrong. If anybody complains, I snarl and twist their arm. Going to the gym has surely improved my people management skills.

You might wonder why I get so worked up when I'm put in charge of something. Let me tell you why. When I was in my third year in college, I was asked to organise a state level symposium. Everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong. The computer used for presentations died. When finally brought to life, it completely deleted the chief guest's power point presentation.

My wonderful juniors gave the memento to everybody onstage but the chief guest, there was a power cut, I asked the principal to release the magazine instead of the college secretary(well, the secretary wasnt there when he was supposed to release it. He however entered precisely 1 second after I asked the principal to release it. Princi got worked up and thought I had insulted the secy......crazy halfwits). I recieved a severe tounge lashing from the staff in charge at the end of the day. I had a minor nervous breakdown after that and didnt go anywhere near a mike for about 6 months.

When I organised a State Level Technical symposium in my fourth year, I sat on everybody's head until they got it right. The symposium went of flawlessly. It was however stupefyingly boring. My friend Tushar who was supposed to handle the computer fell into a deep coma right in front of the chief guest. The juniors kept trying to go home and the size of the audience shrunk miraculously over the course of the day. But still, everything went according to plan, so I feel
good about it.

So the lessons I learnt? Dont trust anybody. Given a chance, people will screw up. Sit on their heads until they get it right. Abuse is motivation(Reverse psychology). Worry, Worry, Worry. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. You can trust the girls to the job perfectly. Guys will offer to take responsibilty and then at that critical moment when you need them the most, will
be found in the movie theatre.

So you see why I get worked up? Trust me, I know what can wrong and what will go wrong. Thats what makes me a good team leader :P.


Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

Its been a LONG time since you posted something like this- its all life but somehow with you it always seems HILARIOUS :-)
Anyways good luck. I dont think I've seen that picture of yours before. :-D

Siddhu said...

Great post. Want to join the symposium sufferers club?

I DISAGREE about girls being any better. Girls are better, as long as there are no good looking guys around (who are also always (goddamn 'em bastards) flirtatious to a fault.). The same holds true vice versa.

Loser: Secretary of the Association, who gets it up every bodily orifice from every person who thinks he can do it to you! And if you're an ugly looking secy, you don't even get to flirt with the inept girls you give responsibility to explicitly for that very purpose! :-(

Shyam said...

Hehehe... you sound like my brother - he had pretty much the same sort of hassles, AND he was the MC! :)

Kay said...

You seem to be paranoid. So you'll survive.

Lovely blog. Making it a regular read. Keep writing.