Have you ever had two opppsing thoughts running simultaneously in your head?
Thought one says " You cant let things drift! Unless you do something, everything you've ever known will vanish and you'll be a sorry spectator!"
Thought two says " Relax dude, you wont get anywhere by forcing things, stuff like this takes time...so just be patient. You just have to accept the fact that you cant change certain things."
Its like having a mad man's conviction and a voice of sanity at the same time. I dont know which is which.
I've been strongly influenced by each thought at different times, thrusting forward, withdrawing, thrusting forward, withdrawing over and over again for the last two weeks. Its exhausting.
Thinking is a bad thing to do.